Permit me to bend your ears.

Let me preface this piece by saying that this will be an uncomfortable subject for many. Rest assured that it is just as uncomfortable for me. Largely in part, because while at the time I could not attach a name to it, I had an inkling that something was not quite right. However, as we all tend to do sometimes, we fervently ignore things hoping that they will pass.

For years, it has been the practice of established and influential people in GY to use their positions to exert undue influence on far younger and inexperienced youths for sexual favours and the like. The benefactors in return, lavish them with money and gifts. A practice otherwise known as sexual grooming. It was not a term that I was at all familiar with in the 1990s when I lived in Guyana. During that period, owing to my lack of knowledge/awareness of the concept, I mistakenly thought it was restricted to minors. It was not until I researched the subject that I became aware that it also is applicable to adults.

At that point, I then understood that some situations which made me uncomfortable as a younger woman in fact fit the textbook definition of adult grooming.

For instance, envision this old familiar scenario. A young woman from a modest background by chance meets an older moneyed man. He woos her with gifts of expensive perfume, dinners at places she's only walked past. Promises of trips overseas made to someone who in local parlance never "see past the beacon", seemed like a dream come true. Especially for a young lady, many of whose friends travelled with their parents from a young age. She sees the photo albums of trips and hears about various experiences amongst her peers. As the one friend in the group who has never had the opportunity and so feels left out, then any means to change such a situation is likely to be taken. Human nature takes over thus, she become easier prey.

According to the Psychology of Criminal and Antisocial Behaviour (Sinnamon 2017), there are seven stages of adult sexual grooming. Arguably, the foregoing fits neatly into the box of meeting the victim's needs and cementing the perpetrator's credentials.

Although, we are aware that the man is at least 20 years her senior, we are conditioned to dismiss it as him just being her "sugar daddy." Meanwhile, with much back slapping and winks, he is hailed as "the man/stud" among his friends.

Emboldened by their friends' "success," often associates then seek to recruit friends of the victim. Usually, the victim does not see her or himself in that light; for they do not grasp that they're being exploited.

While it is quite easy for anyone to become a victim, those who are of modest means tend to be more vulnerable. Thinking back to the period of my early 20s, one such man who had children older than I, did not hesitate to offer me a car as he opined that riding my motorcycle was too dangerous. Not knowing anything about me, he also thought that he was impressing me with his offer to fly me to Barbados for the day. Now perhaps under different circumstances, I may have been tempted. Who knows? However, realising that there was something wrong with such an offer, I had a word with my mother. I daresay she was ready to castrate the gentleman whom she actually knew as a business associate. He however, had no idea that Mrs. G, as he knew her is my mother.

This type of grooming, is by no means restricted to females. My first recollection of this sort of grooming in the case of males, was that of a late clothing store owner on Robb Street, who was always driving around teenaged boys and some a little older in his Mercedes Benz. More than likely, it was the lure of extra change and free clothing that reeled them in.

Continuing in this vein, during the 1990s into the 2000s, there was a well-known executive in the financial industry, whom it is alleged preyed upon young men in his institution. Those who were receptive, had a meteoric rise up the corporate ladder. Those who caught his fancy but weren't interested were forced out in one way or another.

There were other instances where it was well-known that yet another man used his influence and connections to assist many young men in obtaining visas to the US. Perhaps the perpetrators justify their actions to themselves by saying, if it wasn't for me, then the young men wouldn't have gotten an opportunity to go to the US. At what cost though? However, irrespective of how they justify it, is preying upon and taking advantage of the desperate and is considered exercising undue influence due to advantageous economic or influential status. In other words predatory behaviour.

Some even become involved with their so-called benefactors while still in high school. Perhaps it is the built in prejudice/acceptance that has historically made it more acceptable for us to view the opposite sex as the norm and the same sex as verboten, without thinking that it is harmful to all the youths whether male or female. Often, we don't see the hidden costs. Most times we only think about it when an incident occurs. Then outrage is expressed. Inevitably it wanes until it is forgotten.

We continue to turn a blind eye and many of these people continue to abuse their influence. Some have transitioned into church ministry; an area that is also rife with abuses. Reportedly, there is one such known "pastor" currently keeping a young man in an apartment that is well-furnished.

I can hear the voices saying that many who fall victim are over the age consent. "Is money they like" etc. I am not making excuses for these youths. The reality is that in many cases, they come from an impoverished background. This coupled with the lack of available opportunities by which, they can improve their lives, invariably lends itself towards situations where they are taken advantage of and compromised.

Notwithstanding the foregoing, it is difficult to combat the predatory and grooming behaviour. The question remains how does one tackle it? I am by no means a social worker. Ergo, I do not pretend to know how to tackle these issues.

All I am suggesting is that as a first step, this taboo issue ought to be publicly addressed by the powers that be and civil society. I am aware that the focus is on oil and economic development but the youth of a country is also a valuable resource. Whether or not we want to face it, it is an on-going problem that needs to be addressed.

If only a fraction of the amount of energy spent on protecting the influential and monied, burying and denying the truth was spent on addressing such issues, perhaps we would at times avoid inevitable tragic outcomes. We must do better by our youths.